Celebrating 25 years of motherhood, day 10 - The dialogue !

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 Day 10, the dialogue. 

Warning - Sensitive content, trigger alert. 

 In the era of smart phones, having communications skills has become important even if it is in the form of a simple text. I have always encouraged them to check on others. It became even more important during the pandemic when we were socially isolated .

  I know several people who have died by suicide, and I have made it my mission to talk about it, if I can help save at least one life. Not too long ago, a friend of children's was going through a rough patch, she had suffered a great personal loss. I had to ask the children to check on her, invite her home, offer help, be there. They did. They later confided in me that their kindness had saved their friend’s life. They had first hand witnessed the power of communication. 

I am very vocal when it comes to talking about suicide, death in general. In our culture, talking about death or dying is a taboo. My husband and I are health care professionals. I worked in nursing homes, with elderly. I know the importance of having a "will" or "advance directive" in place , letting your loved ones know what to do in advance if they need to decide. My children are at university now and we have tackled some tough topics head-on, from discussing the dangers of hazing, excessive drinking, asking for consent, to empowering our daughter with self-defense skills through a rape defense class.

But most importantly, we have emphasized in them the knowledge that our home is a safe place, they can always come back, always welcome and I am here to support no matter the circumstances. We will figure it out together. I don't know if I am right or wrong in saying this, but often times, I chase them to the car as they head out of the door, that I was the one who gave them that life, it is not theirs to take away before discussing it with me. So, if they were to have those moments of unclarity, where it seems like the world had failed them or  they had failed themselves, they are to visualize my face and to call me, no matter the time of the day. 

Through this post, I want to encourage you to have those conversations, break the silence. Make them feel seen and heard. Hold them tight, hug them every chance you get. 

 “We rise by lifting others not by pulling anyone down.” Unknown

If you know of anyone who is having thoughts of suicide, please call 988. 

https://gordie.studenthealth.virginia.edu/take-the-pledge




Comments

  1. TanveeApril 16, 2024 at 9:05 PM

    and you continue to break the silence with these vulnerable, thoughtful, insightful posts!

    ReplyDelete
  2. CyneraApril 17, 2024 at 7:06 AM

    Not just your kids, I also feel like I can always come to you with my feelings, thoughts questions. Thank you for always being there for us all and for all the support and love you give us!

    ReplyDelete

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