Celebrating 25 years of Motherhood, Day 7- Saying NO!

-

 Day 7 of celebrating motherhood. 

It is ok to say NO if you do not want to do it. I hope the children saw me, heard me say NO. Both my husband and I were brought up in a culture where sacrifice was considered noble, a virtue. Saying "NO" to parents, family meant you were being selfish. The culture dictated to put everyone else’s happiness before yours. You sacrificed to avoid hurting others' feelings. 

Culturally, as a daughter-in-law, I was expected to follow patterns, traditions, rituals whether my heart was in it or not, whether I enjoyed doing those things or performing those duties or not. There were a few times when I did follow a few things for the sake of and for the happiness of others as my duty, for parents, in-laws but it never brought me any happiness and it caused me more anguish. It was clear that sacrificing my own happiness merely for the sake of tradition or cultural norms was futile, it was neither making me happy nor them.

 Finally, decided to drop the façade altogether, I started saying “no”; not to be selfish but for my own self-respect. It has not been easy; I am still often caught in the dilemma but that’s another rabbit’s hole. So, if you are fighting that battle, let it go. You are the only one who can make yourself happy is what they tell us.

So go ahead, say no when you need to. Your happiness is worth it, and you can be selfish about it. And in doing so, you may just inspire others to do the same.

“If you do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.”- Katharine Hepburn

 

Image obtained from Google.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

No victory is too small! Celebrate them all.

-
Image
Some say you should keep your victories quiet, and in Indian culture, I’ve often heard that sharing too much happiness or “bragging” can invite bad karma. But I live in the U.S. now, and not too long ago, I was listening to a podcast where the speaker said, "No victory is too small; you should celebrate them all." So, do we celebrate them quietly or share them with everyone? I mulled over this, contemplated it, and went back and forth about whether to post or not. But today, my mommy heart won. This isn't about bragging—it’s about celebrating a journey, both mine and my son’s. I want to share my joy with all of you. This year marks a huge milestone for me: 25 years of being a mom. And as I celebrated this milestone in different ways, my firstborn—the one who made me a mom 25 years ago—graduated from law school in the spring and has now successfully passed the bar exam on his first try! Yay for him. And I might add—he’s the first lawyer in our family. Some might say...
Read more

My self care journey - Oxygen mask.

-
Image
  “In the event of a sudden drop in pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from above. Secure your own mask first before assisting others.” The first time I heard this, I was flying for the first time in my life on an international flight from Mumbai to Atlanta via London. I was so excited to go to America on my own that I did not really pay that much attention to this routine preflight announcement. Since I had flown to America, it also meant flying back, again, several times to go home. I heard the same announcement during all those trips but at that point, they were still some words, their true meaning still had not registered.  Then came another first time of my life, this time it was flying with my first born, for the first time. By this time, I was not as excited about flying, the novelty had completely worn off. Now I am only concerned about the safety of my baby, he is sitting in my lap, one year old. Then they make the above preflight announcement, in several diffe...
Read more

An Abundance of Flowers !

-
Image
  An Abundance of Flowers It’s   one of the writing prompts for April. Spring arrives , bringing with it an abundance of flowers. It’s   finally here in the Northern Hemisphere, and that means a world bursting into bloom. I grew up in a tropical country where there was no distinct fall, and therefore, no spring.  Everything stayed green throughout the year.  But now, living far above the tropics, I experience the beauty of seasonal change.  With fall comes the shedding of leaves, and spring brings a wave of colors. The first to bloom around here are the daffodils .  I had planted a few bulbs a few years ago  and happy to say that they have multiplied .            Before moving to the U.S., I had never seen a daffodil. There’s something about them that I can’t quite put into words, but their sight always fills me with hope and happiness.  Some years, we’ve had snow on the ground, and yet, these bright y...
Read more