Celebrating 25 years of Motherhood, Day 7- Saying NO!

Day 7 of celebrating motherhood.

It is ok to say NO if you do not want to do it. I hope the children saw me, heard me say NO. Both my husband and I were brought up in a culture where sacrifice was considered noble, a virtue. Saying "NO" to parents, family meant you were being selfish. The culture dictated to put everyone else’s happiness before yours. You sacrificed to avoid hurting others' feelings.

Culturally, as a daughter-in-law, I was expected to follow patterns, traditions, rituals whether my heart was in it or not, whether I enjoyed doing those things or performing those duties or not. There were a few times when I did follow a few things for the sake of and for the happiness of others as my duty, for parents, in-laws but it never brought me any happiness and it caused me more anguish. It was clear that sacrificing my own happiness merely for the sake of tradition or cultural norms was futile, it was neither making me happy nor them.

Finally, decided to drop the façade altogether, I started saying “no”; not to be selfish but for my own self-respect. It has not been easy; I am still often caught in the dilemma but that’s another rabbit’s hole. So, if you are fighting that battle, let it go. You are the only one who can make yourself happy is what they tell us.

So go ahead, say no when you need to. Your happiness is worth it, and you can be selfish about it. And in doing so, you may just inspire others to do the same.

“If you do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.”- Katharine Hepburn

Image obtained from Google.

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