Celebrating 25 years of motherhood , Day 6

Celebrating 25 years of motherhood , Day 6 - The look!

Day 6 , the LOOK.

Every now and then, someone comes up and says to me that they admire the fact that I have broken some of the patterns or they comment on our children being polite, kind, respectful.

So, when I find myself doubting about myself, I think about all these people and their comments, and I pat myself on the back. It is a gentle reminder that despite the challenges, I did something right. It is a nice feeling to be recognized by someone.

My children are my pride, joy, and happiness. When it came to household chores, I did my share plus husband’s so that he could spend more time with them, with us. His job dictates a demanding schedule, long hours, shift work, nights, weekends. So, while he did that one job which paid our bills, I did many; they went unnoticed as nobody paid me. I managed our household with an iron fist, there was no room for error. I was never a "cool mom", but I was "gets it all done, makes it happen mom". We had a strict schedule and we followed that schedule.

In the end, I had juggled so many schedules that I have become a master schedule juggler. I wish I got paid for that job. In the midst of all the chaos, I believed that I had perfected an eye roll that kept them in line for years, I lived under the impression that it was that look that made them behave, not get into trouble. Not too long ago, when the children were home for fall break with a friend of theirs, and I was bragging about my infamous perfected look, my middle child said, "look, what look? I do not remember any looks. " I was heartbroken. They could have let me live in my bubble and at least let me have my look. It was that look friends, "The look."

For years, I had believed that my look had maintained order. But in reality, it was just my presence, the love and having the consistency that had made the difference.

So, today's moral: whether you have practiced and perfected that “ look" or not, do the best you can, and things will fall into place. As I reflect on my journey as a mother, I find peace in knowing that despite all the challenges I faced, I gave my all to my job as a mom. And perhaps, just perhaps, in the end, that is all that mattered.

“Don’t forget while you are doubting yourself, there is always someone else who is admiring your strength.” Kristen Butler

Always watching their every move

And here is my perfected "LOOK", would you behave yourself, be scared if I gave you this look?

Comments

My self care journey - Oxygen mask.

“ In the event of a sudden drop in pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from above. Secure your own mask first before assisting others. ” The first time I heard this, I was flying for the first time in my life on an international flight from Mumbai to Atlanta via London. I was so excited to go to America on my own that I did not really pay that much attention to this routine preflight announcement. Since I had flown to America, it also meant flying back, again, several times to go home. I heard the same announcement during all those trips but at that point, they were still some words, their true meaning still had not registered. Then came another first time of my life, this time it was flying with my first born, for the first time. By this time, I was not as excited about flying, the novelty had completely worn off. Now I am only concerned about the safety of my baby, he is sitting in my lap, one year old. Then they make the above preflight announcement, in sever...

Journey as a mom driver.

Several years ago, when my parents were visiting, I took them to church for Easter Sunday mass. It was the first time I had driven since becoming a mother… for the second time around. This time, I had “twins.” They were less than two months old. I hadn’t driven in several months. I thought I could use the break from taking care of them. The church was not too far, I would be gone for at the most an hour and a half. Little did I know that it would be a defining moment in my journey as a mother. While at church, I just could not focus, they were at home with their father, they were safe, but that was the first time I had left them at home and gone somewhere. We ended up leaving before the final hymn. I was in a hurry to get home, only a few minutes from home. Sleep-deprived and anxious, I ran a red light. That split-second decision cost me more than I can explain. By the time a police officer got there and approached the car, I had had a complete meltdown, bawling at the s...

Legacy of Journaling!

Writing has always had a special place in my heart and its roots go way back to my childhood, to my father, my inspiration. My father has kept a journal, a daily diary since he was, I believe 20 years old, sort of chronicles, at first of his life and then our lives. He would write down all he did every day and along with that, he would also write down community happenings, a little note of news, local, nationwide and or global events which occurred on that day. He has a record of everything and anything that happened in our tiny community where I grew up and where record keeping was almost nonexistent. A tiny catholic rural community in India. He meticulously noted birthdays, anniversaries, and even deaths, along with details of dignitaries, clergy coming and going. He was a walking encyclopedia of our community's history. He is well known in the community partly for that reason, as a historian, their source of information. They come looking for him when they ne...

Rekha's Ramblings

Search This Blog