Celebrating 25 years of motherhood, Day 8- Breaking traditions!

-

Day 8, letting go of traditions.

Husband and I grew up in different parts of India and cutting cakes, birthday parties was not our tradition. We never had any birthday parties, it was not something we did and it was not something we felt like we had missed  out on or had given much thought to.

 But now that we lived in the USA and here celebrating birthdays was a big thing, we celebrated a few of their birthdays, embracing the new life here and it's traditions. However, the whole birthday party thing did not resonate with us. I am not a party planner. I did plan a few birthday parties for my children but when they were old enough, they themselves said they did not want them. 

Gift-giving was another tradition that did not quite align with our family values. While our children did receive gifts when they were younger, for birthdays and for Christmas, they understood the significance of their blessings and the love we showered upon them throughout the year.

Yet, despite our best efforts to create a sense of normalcy within the confines of tradition, there were moments when we could not help but feel a twinge of guilt. Our children, due to our unconventional approach, sometimes found themselves excluded from the birthday parties of their peers. They missed the camaraderie and excitement that often accompanies these events.

Not too long when it was their birthday, I said, “I am sorry if I doomed you or if you are traumatized  for the rest of your lives because your mom did not bake you a cake or we didn’t cut a birthday cake and didn't sing the happy birthday song.” They reassured me that there was no need for apologies, no need to conform to societal norms simply for the sake of fitting in. How did they become so wise? Hmm, I wonder.

They understood that our choices were made out of love and a desire to do what we believed was best for them. They appreciated the few birthday parties I had planned and cherished the memories we had created together. They knew that our family did not have to adhere to the same traditions as everyone else.

In our household, birthdays are celebrated in our own unique way. We may not have elaborate parties or follow the traditional rituals of cake cutting, but we find joy in simple moments spent together. We indulge in a cake or ice cream whenever the mood strikes us, not just on designated occasions. Every day is special and has become our motto.

So, to all the parents out there who may be questioning their choices in the face of societal expectations, I offer this reminder: it is okay to forge your own path. Parenting is not one-size-fits-all, and what works for one family may not work for another. Embrace your uniqueness, celebrate your own traditions, and love your children fiercely, regardless of the customs you choose to follow.

Top of Form

 “The best present you can give is to be present”. - Amy Betters-Midvedt



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

No victory is too small! Celebrate them all.

-
Image
Some say you should keep your victories quiet, and in Indian culture, I’ve often heard that sharing too much happiness or “bragging” can invite bad karma. But I live in the U.S. now, and not too long ago, I was listening to a podcast where the speaker said, "No victory is too small; you should celebrate them all." So, do we celebrate them quietly or share them with everyone? I mulled over this, contemplated it, and went back and forth about whether to post or not. But today, my mommy heart won. This isn't about bragging—it’s about celebrating a journey, both mine and my son’s. I want to share my joy with all of you. This year marks a huge milestone for me: 25 years of being a mom. And as I celebrated this milestone in different ways, my firstborn—the one who made me a mom 25 years ago—graduated from law school in the spring and has now successfully passed the bar exam on his first try! Yay for him. And I might add—he’s the first lawyer in our family. Some might say...
Read more

My self care journey - Oxygen mask.

-
Image
  “In the event of a sudden drop in pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from above. Secure your own mask first before assisting others.” The first time I heard this, I was flying for the first time in my life on an international flight from Mumbai to Atlanta via London. I was so excited to go to America on my own that I did not really pay that much attention to this routine preflight announcement. Since I had flown to America, it also meant flying back, again, several times to go home. I heard the same announcement during all those trips but at that point, they were still some words, their true meaning still had not registered.  Then came another first time of my life, this time it was flying with my first born, for the first time. By this time, I was not as excited about flying, the novelty had completely worn off. Now I am only concerned about the safety of my baby, he is sitting in my lap, one year old. Then they make the above preflight announcement, in several diffe...
Read more

An Abundance of Flowers !

-
Image
  An Abundance of Flowers It’s   one of the writing prompts for April. Spring arrives , bringing with it an abundance of flowers. It’s   finally here in the Northern Hemisphere, and that means a world bursting into bloom. I grew up in a tropical country where there was no distinct fall, and therefore, no spring.  Everything stayed green throughout the year.  But now, living far above the tropics, I experience the beauty of seasonal change.  With fall comes the shedding of leaves, and spring brings a wave of colors. The first to bloom around here are the daffodils .  I had planted a few bulbs a few years ago  and happy to say that they have multiplied .            Before moving to the U.S., I had never seen a daffodil. There’s something about them that I can’t quite put into words, but their sight always fills me with hope and happiness.  Some years, we’ve had snow on the ground, and yet, these bright y...
Read more