Celebrating 25 years of Motherhood , Day 3

Celebrating 25 years of Motherhood , Day 3 - letting Go!

As a mom and the default parent, I often used to find myself going into the guilt rabbit hole, wondering if I had done enough, if I could have done better. For years, I found myself entangled in those thoughts of “could haves and should haves.” I would go down that spiral of self-criticism, how my mistakes had impacted on them, how I had failed on so many levels; it was never ending.

But as time went on, I began to realize something, despite all the should haves' and could haves', my children had thrived.

They are healthy, all three of them pursuing higher education, and most importantly, they are kind-hearted individuals who care about the environment and everyone in it. Very recently, it dawned on me that perhaps, just perhaps, I had done a better job than I gave myself credit for.

For so long, I had held onto this idea that I was falling short as a mother, a parent and that I had not done enough. But contrary to my belief, I could not have done a better job.

Now, I allow myself to bask in the glory, in the pride of my children's accomplishments. Now I have concluded that it was not despite my parenting, but perhaps because of it, that they are better citizens of this world. I have learned to celebrate the small victories and forgive myself for the inevitable mistakes I made along the way.

So, to all the moms out there who find themselves going down this guilt rabbit hole, I urge you to take a step back. Take a good look at your children, see them for who they are. And remember, you did your best. You were present and that is something you should be proud of and give yourself credit for.

Here is a link to 25 years of being a mom in case you missed it.

https://www.rekhasrambling.com/2024/03/25-years-of-being-mom.html

“You question, you worry, you feel so worthless. Yet you are living and breathing. You are following your purpose.” – Heather Lee Poetry.

Comments

My self care journey - Oxygen mask.

“ In the event of a sudden drop in pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from above. Secure your own mask first before assisting others. ” The first time I heard this, I was flying for the first time in my life on an international flight from Mumbai to Atlanta via London. I was so excited to go to America on my own that I did not really pay that much attention to this routine preflight announcement. Since I had flown to America, it also meant flying back, again, several times to go home. I heard the same announcement during all those trips but at that point, they were still some words, their true meaning still had not registered. Then came another first time of my life, this time it was flying with my first born, for the first time. By this time, I was not as excited about flying, the novelty had completely worn off. Now I am only concerned about the safety of my baby, he is sitting in my lap, one year old. Then they make the above preflight announcement, in sever...

Journey as a mom driver.

Several years ago, when my parents were visiting, I took them to church for Easter Sunday mass. It was the first time I had driven since becoming a mother… for the second time around. This time, I had “twins.” They were less than two months old. I hadn’t driven in several months. I thought I could use the break from taking care of them. The church was not too far, I would be gone for at the most an hour and a half. Little did I know that it would be a defining moment in my journey as a mother. While at church, I just could not focus, they were at home with their father, they were safe, but that was the first time I had left them at home and gone somewhere. We ended up leaving before the final hymn. I was in a hurry to get home, only a few minutes from home. Sleep-deprived and anxious, I ran a red light. That split-second decision cost me more than I can explain. By the time a police officer got there and approached the car, I had had a complete meltdown, bawling at the s...

Legacy of Journaling!

Writing has always had a special place in my heart and its roots go way back to my childhood, to my father, my inspiration. My father has kept a journal, a daily diary since he was, I believe 20 years old, sort of chronicles, at first of his life and then our lives. He would write down all he did every day and along with that, he would also write down community happenings, a little note of news, local, nationwide and or global events which occurred on that day. He has a record of everything and anything that happened in our tiny community where I grew up and where record keeping was almost nonexistent. A tiny catholic rural community in India. He meticulously noted birthdays, anniversaries, and even deaths, along with details of dignitaries, clergy coming and going. He was a walking encyclopedia of our community's history. He is well known in the community partly for that reason, as a historian, their source of information. They come looking for him when they ne...

Rekha's Ramblings

Search This Blog