Rekha's Ramblings

Day 21, friendship.  One of the most complicated things about parenting is being there for your children navigating the complexities of their lives, finding friends. That is one of the things I have struggled with, I still do. My siblings were and are my best friends . However we live in three different times zones and thousands of miles away from each other. Finding other friends did not come easy; I did not fit any molds. I often felt like an outsider at social events. But  now I do have a small circle.  When it came to finding friends, I had to tell them to choose quality not quantity. There is a lot of give and take, it does not work one way. I had to tell this to myself before I was teaching them. Friendship is an investment, you must try, you must be there just like you want them to be there. It is not about keeping score.  It is  about being there, in good times and bad. All of us are still learning, it is a work in progress. So, to anyone out there who...

 When you are going to be a parent for the first time, you are excited, nervous, anxious; whirlwind of emotions, all at the same time; if the baby will be healthy, whether you will be good parents. There are constant self-doubts, worrying. Then the baby arrives, he turns your world UPSIDE DOWN, in a good way. Now, he is your WORLD. Your life revolves around him; nurturing, nourishing this tiny human being. His safety, the sleepless nights and all the things which come with the newborn. You are in a constant SELF DOUBT mode. Somehow you figure it out, it is going well, you have got this. The baby is healthy, he starts walking, talking on time and eventually starts going to preschool but now the baby realizes that the only people he has are his parents. Besides parents, the baby has no family, no grandparents, no extended family. We are first generation immigrants and our families lived thousands of miles away. Baby does not understand this and starts asking for a brother or a ...

November is the month of Thanksgiving.  One of my friends shared this "30 days of Gratitude challenge " with me a few years ago and today's challenge is "Growth".  The dictionary defines “growth” as the process of increasing in physical size, amount, value, or importance. In other words, it’s not just about getting physically taller but also growing your values, what matters to you, what grows your self-confidence.  In my opinion, Growth is based on your environment, the challenges you face. Some people thrive and become a better version of themselves when put under pressure, some not so. It also depends on how willing you are to learn, to get out of your box, to adapt to the situation, your circumstances.  My personal growth has always been through introspection, how I can be a better person than I was yesterday. It’s a journey, I am still learning.  There are many who continue to inspire me daily. I know my weaknesses, my flaws, my strengths, and I am trying t...

  I was talking to someone the other day; they are new on our block where friendships are already formed. The community is small, it is hard to get a breakthrough. They were asking me how I did it. I seem to have a lot of friends. How did I get that breakthrough? I have had a unique journey when it comes to friendship and being a part of a circle.  First, I am a very straightforward person and what I say is not always pleasant, in fact, most times it is offensive and hurtful to someone who does not know me.  Secondly, I am blessed by three siblings who to this date are my best friends and hence, I did not have the need to have more friends beyond them until I went to college. My college class size was extremely small, and friendships were formed automatically.  But as life progressed, when I moved away to the USA, every day was a new challenge. It became even more difficult when I became a parent. Balancing work, being a parent to three children (including a set of t...

  Writing has always had a special place in my heart and its roots go way back to my childhood, to my father, my inspiration.  My father has kept a journal, a daily diary since he was, I believe 20 years old, sort of chronicles, at first of his life and then our lives. He would write down all he did every day and along with that, he would also write down community happenings, a little note of news, local, nationwide and or global events which occurred on that day.  He has a record of everything and anything that happened in our tiny community where I grew up and where record keeping was almost nonexistent. A tiny catholic rural community in India. He meticulously noted birthdays, anniversaries, and even deaths, along with details of dignitaries, clergy coming and going. He was a walking encyclopedia of our community's history.  He is well known in the community partly for that reason, as a historian, their source of information. They come looking for him when they ne...