Skip to main content

Hellos and Goodbyes....

 It’s almost back-to-college time for many of us in the USA.

This morning, I drove my daughter back to campus—just the two of us.

Her twin brother left a couple of days ago to prepare for band camp; this is his second year being one of the drum majors.

This is their final year. Both of them are excited. They are happy to return to the campus, their other HOME, their happy place, and I am grateful that they are doing well and have found a happy place.

They are going through some “happiness/sadness” as well; this being their last year performing in a marching band, may be their final school year. 

 We know the drill by now—move the boxes in, run to the grocery store, stock a few shelves, hug, goodbye.

And then, drive away.

The tears couldn’t come any quickly on the ride back home, in the car—lots of them. 

After three months of having them home, coming back to the house was not the same.

Our evenings had been filled with music, my middle child at the piano or playing his clarinet. 


Today, of all days, it’s National Middle Child’s Day. And as I walked into that silent home, I felt his absence more than ever. That bench by the piano seems just a little too still, the keys untouched, the air missing the sound of music.



The fourth year came far too fast. It feels like only yesterday when I was packing school lunches, juggling everyone’s schedules, figuring out what’s for dinner…

The house is temporarily not empty. My oldest is home  for the time being, so I’m not truly alone. My mama heart is grateful.

But… there’s always that but. I miss them, and I will always miss them, no matter how old they are or where life takes them. Tomorrow will be better, but today? Today I feel it.

This is motherhood, the full house, and then… not so full. A few more years of these comings and goings, and then they will scatter, chasing dreams and careers, finding corners of the world to call their own.

I once did the same, moving thousands of miles from my own home. Life has a way of circling back like that, doesn’t it?

Such is life… The show must go on.

To the first-time “kids going to college” parents—I see you.

There will be boxes stacked high, checklists, arguments, big meltdowns, it’s all normal. 




People will tell you, “You’ve done your job; now it’s their journey.”

And yes, that’s true, but every child is different.

One may never look back.

One may call daily.

One may disappear for weeks at a time.

However it unfolds, it will be okay.

Please make sure to have the talk with them.  

https://www.rekhasrambling.com/2024/08/alcohol-poisoning.html

Be kind to yourself, let the tears fall.

To those entering their first year of being empty nesters—I see you, too.

 I had a rough time transitioning, but I’m okay now.

It’s ok to miss them, your feelings are valid.

To parents like me, having done it more than once, let the phone return to your nightstand after staying in the kitchen  for the summer.


Note to self- be kind to yourself.

They will be home for fall break and I will most likely go see them in a week or two.


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My self care journey - Oxygen mask.

  “ In the event of a sudden drop in pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from above. Secure your own mask first before assisting others. ” The first time I heard this, I was flying for the first time in my life on an international flight from Mumbai to Atlanta via London. I was so excited to go to America on my own that I did not really pay that much attention to this routine preflight announcement. Since I had flown to America, it also meant flying back, again, several times to go home. I heard the same announcement during all those trips but at that point, they were still some words, their true meaning still had not registered.  Then came another first time of my life, this time it was flying with my first born, for the first time.  By this time, I was not as excited about flying, the novelty had completely worn off. Now I am only concerned about the safety of my baby, he is sitting in my lap, one year old. Then they make the above preflight announcement, in sever...
8 comments
Read more

Journey as a mom driver.

Several years ago, when my parents were visiting, I took them to church for Easter Sunday mass. It was the first time I had driven since becoming a mother… for the second time around. This time, I had “twins.” They were less than two months old. I hadn’t driven in several months. I thought I could use the break from taking care of them. The church was not too far, I would be gone for at the most an hour and a half. Little did I know that it would be a defining moment in my journey as a mother. While at church, I just could not focus, they were at home with their father, they were safe, but that was the first time I had left them at home and gone somewhere. We ended up leaving before the final hymn. I was in a hurry to get home, only a few minutes from home. Sleep-deprived and anxious, I ran a red light. That split-second decision cost me more than I can explain. By the time a police officer got there  and approached the car, I had had a complete meltdown, bawling at the s...
13 comments
Read more

Legacy of Journaling!

  Writing has always had a special place in my heart and its roots go way back to my childhood, to my father, my inspiration.  My father has kept a journal, a daily diary since he was, I believe 20 years old, sort of chronicles, at first of his life and then our lives. He would write down all he did every day and along with that, he would also write down community happenings, a little note of news, local, nationwide and or global events which occurred on that day.  He has a record of everything and anything that happened in our tiny community where I grew up and where record keeping was almost nonexistent. A tiny catholic rural community in India. He meticulously noted birthdays, anniversaries, and even deaths, along with details of dignitaries, clergy coming and going. He was a walking encyclopedia of our community's history.  He is well known in the community partly for that reason, as a historian, their source of information. They come looking for him when they ne...
12 comments
Read more